2011

The kids 1 year ago...

In 3-1/2 hours I will say farewell to 2010. And what a year it has been. Matt turned 30. 30! Matt and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary. Evan turned 3. I entered into the last year of my 20's. Grace started Pre-K and Evan started preschool. I got to hear Madeline and Leah start talking. I got to hear them both say, "I love you Mommy!" during 2010. My twin baby girls turned 2. We celebrated another holiday season with new additions to the family and had a blast. I've grown closer to some people and further away from others, some on purpose others not. I got to "re-learn" who my true friends are. I've seen marriages fall apart and my marriage grow stronger. 2010 has taught me a lot. I've changed a lot.

What do I want from 2011? More patience. Momentum to keep running, and finish a 10 mile race. Lose a few more pounds and get my family more healthy overall. I want to be more organized and finish several home projects so we can put the house back on the market. Of course I want my family to stay healthy and be happy. I hope to be an even better wife and mother than I was in 2010.

More tidbits

Madeline and Leah are so into stickers right now! They will play for hours working on a masterpiece filled in with their shapes that they know how to draw (and are so proud of!).

Leah still likes to color all over her face with markers if she thinks that I'm ignoring her which is sometimes true because sometimes "art hour" is when I'm making dinner.

Grace has her first preschool pageant on Friday and I'm praying that all goes according to plan. She has been difficult to say the least during practice.

Madeline is starting to catch up with Leah in regards to vocabulary and making sentences. I was starting to worry because Leah was so far ahead of Madeline.

Grace, Madelina and Leah are in love with the show Angelina Ballerina ~ It's adorable that they all watch it and then act out what they saw. I love seeing them actually play nicely together!

I'm excited about Christmas for all of the usual reasons but I'm SUPER excited that Matt will be home with us on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day for the first time in 4 years. I will be nervous that he will get forced to work up until he's out of the gate on the 23rd but I'm trying to remain optimistic but also set up a game plan in case he does get forced.

I'm looking forward to seeing my in-laws on Friday. They're coming down for Grace's pageant and she's so excited that they're coming. I hope that Matt will be able to come but again only time will tell.

Accountable

I'm going to attempt to use my blog to be held a little more accountable for working out. I'm hopefully going to post pictures of my progress to help keep me motivated. So here's my first picture. I've been running a lot and have been pretty pleased with my progress as far as distance goes. I'm getting some pain in my shins and think that I may need a new pair of sneakers with more support to help with that.

In other news I have a lot of updating to do to this blog and am trying to get back into the mindset of blogging. I am having my pregnancy blog and the majority of this blog printed into a book and am sad that I fell off the wagon and don't have as many memories and pictures written down. Maybe that will be my New Years Resolution!

Can't

There are so many things that I've wanted to say to so many different people lately but can't for many reasons...I just need to let it out so here goes...

You have left me with zero trust in you and I really don't care to see you or associate with you any more.

I have done so many things for you in the past, you have done exactly 2 things for me through the entire time we've known each other. You constantly put me and my family on the back burner and I'm sick of it.

I think you are an awful parent. You have no desire to put any effort into helping and teaching your children. Here's your wake up call, NO ONE IS GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU! And yes, that means spending actual TIME with them. Playing, reading, crafts, TALKING TO THEM. TV is not a babysitter nor is it a teacher.

I work hard even though I don't work outside of the house. You may think you know what my life is like but you have NO idea.


There...I feel a little bit better.

Our Week

We've had a pretty eventful week. Last Friday Evan was in the Emergency Room for Croup which caused him to have trouble breathing and turn blue. Everything turned out fine and he's back to normal! Everyone battled a cold over the last week. Wednesday I smashed my finger in my car door and ended up back to the same Emergency Room. Not one of my finer moments. Now it's the weekend and we have errands tomorrow, and tons of cleaning to do. I didn't clean much Wednesday or Thursday so I have some catching up to do.

Vacation Rental Warning

If you ever go on vacation on the Outer Banks of North Carolina do not EVER rent from Midgett Realty! They have given us the worst vacation experience. The house we originally rented had live bugs running around on the beds!! And a bed that had no support under it, it was held up with wainescoating cross"beams". We were put in another house, stayed our week and now 2 weeks later are being called with an outstanding balance for the difference in rent between the original "bug" house and the house we were placed in because of an issue with their original rental home.

DO NOT EVER RENT FROM MIDGETT REALTY!!

Flash

Our weekend went by in a FLASH! On Saturday I had gotten up, stopped at Walmart to pick up a gift and gotten Grace to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese by 9:30am. After 2 hours we were Chucked out and had a few errands to do while we were in Downingtown. Part way through the errands a totally exhausted Grace melted down in the middle of a shoe store. I had to practically drag her across the parking lot to the car while she was screaming, "Get away from me!!" "You're hurting me!!" "OWWWWWWCCCCHHHHH". It was not one of our finer moments. And the shoe store just "had" to be right next to Babies R Us where all of the first time parents were staring at us and in whispered hushes to each other saying, "Our child will NEVER, EVER do that! She must be an awful mother!" My response to them...You just wait!!

This week is filled with appointments, 2 school harvest parties ( I got stuck with making the 30 cupcakes, as if I don't have anything else to be doing) and Trick Or Treat on Friday night among all of the normal things. Friday just happens to be predicted as 20 degrees colder than the rest of the week with strong winds. Lovely. I'm still not done the kids costumes, and have no idea where else I can look for the rest of the things that we need. I also just don't want to spend any more money!!! Truth be told, I don't like Halloween. I never have. Yes, I like to see my kiddos dressed in cute costumes but after about 10 minutes of fighting with people to leave this and that alone, I'm over it.

Off to the shower I go...I'm going to try to break my record of a 0.25 minute shower!

Back At It

I haven't had wireless internet in over a year. Sad, I know. Last night I finally got it to work! I'm hoping that being wireless will help me start blogging again.

Twice a month I usually go and get a cheap manicure. It's $30 a month and something that I look forward to doing alone. Tonight I was getting my manicure, relaxing while listening to my iPod, and all of the sudden we heard a very loud thump and felt a vibration. We looked out the window and a car had crashed into the adjoining grocery store! It was an old car that didn't have airbags and the person driving didn't seem to be moving. Luckily the fire company/ems is right around the corner and came very quickly, I hope the drive is ok. I have to say that I was a little angry that my "relaxing" manicure was interrupted by blaring sirens that they didn't turn off after they parked the fire truck.

Evan went on his first field trip today and he had an absolute blast. We went to an Amish pumpkin patch/dairy farm. He got to take a hay ride pulled by 4 mules, lead me through a corn maze and found the way all by himself. I think the maze was the best part for him because he got to decide everything. He doesn't usually get to be the "leader". Grace is usually the dominant one and Evan will follow her lead no matter how much we try to intervene and encourage him to speak up. Evan also got to pick out a pumpkin, which took him a good 10 minutes to decide on which one! He loved getting me all to himself this morning and I ate up every second.

I am trying to make sense of all of my lists of birthday gift ideas and Christmas ideas as well as take stock of what I already have purchased. I think the twins are going to get bikes for their birthdays, and Grace is getting a new bike also. I would like to get the twins a kitchen for Christmas to replace the one that was ruined, which still upsets me and makes me hate this house just a little more. Grace wants an Easy Bake Oven, a Nintendo DS Lite and a Fancy Nancy doll. Luckily my Mother In-Law found the Fancy Nancy doll on sale at the Target near her house and picked it up for me. Those aren't cheap dolls!

I need to call BounceU to see if there is an open spot on Nov 13th for Grace's birthday party. I really want to do something special for her this year. I cannot believe that she's going to be 5!

Quick Catch-Up

So much is happening in the Brown house that I have zero time to put thought into a blog. I miss blogging. Here's a quick list of the major things going on in this house!

We just got back from Hatteras on vacation and the weather was wonderful!! The kids loved the beach!! Can't wait to go back next year!

Madeline and Leah talk more and more every day. They are getting to be such big girls! I cannot believe that in less than a month they will both be 2!

Grace is doing excellent in school! She really loves it, most days.

Evan loves school also. He had a rough first few days but he loves going now. Evan has his first field trip on Thursday to King Farm!

We took our house off the market on Sept 22nd. We originally planned on listing it with another realtor but think that we are going to wait until after the first of the year to list it again.

One big reason for waiting on listing the house is that Matt's company is being sold. The takeover should be final before the end of this year. He will then be working for PBF instead of Valero. It's supposed to be a great move with more job security, however I'm still leery.

Matt is still training for his new position as FQO. I think the training will be done by mid November. I'm so proud of him!

Busy

Wow have we been busy! Grace started Pre-K 5 mornings a week and Evan started Preschool 2 mornings a week. That has been an adjustment, I drop them off at 9am, get home at about 9:20, then leave again no later than 11:00. I just can't seem to find a rhythm for that time in between dropping them off and picking them up.

Here are some recent pictures of the kids. The first one is of Madeline(r) and Leah on the mountain playing in the dirt! This one is of Madeline being silly in the tub!

Grace and Evan dressed in their Woody and Jessie PJ's!

The last one is of my big boy getting ready to leave for his first day of school!

A Request

I haven't blogged in over a month and here I am blogging for a selfish favor!! I need some prayers and positive thoughts - we have had our house on the market for 6 months. We haven't had a showing in a long time and decided it would be best to just take it off of the market for the winter and try again in the spring. We are taking it off of the market in 5 days, and now we have a showing tomorrow with another one possible for Tuesday. I'm praying that this is somehow a sign and that we will get an acceptable offer and close in a reasonable amount of time. Think good thoughts for us, we need it!

I need to find the time to actually sit down and blog because SO much has happened in the last month!! Maybe Tomorrow after the showing...

Grace

Grace is the sweetest little girl you'll ever meet...unless you catch her in one of her "moods". When she snaps, she snaps hard! She was in the middle of the mother of all tantrums on Saturday and when put in punishment, she took off her glasses that we less than a week old, and snapped them in half.
Grace will console her siblings and make sure everything is ok if one of them is hurt or crying. She gives the best hugs and snuggles. She's very thoughtful, and remembers everything!
Grace will be 5 in November. She starts Pre-K in September and I know she's going to love it. She loves to learn. She was so excited to show her grandparents how she can write their names and what words she knows how to spell on her own. She loves to add and subtract small numbers of things. Grace loves to be read to and to do her "workbooks". She asks 10,000 questions about anything and everything, and soaks is all in.
I was stunned at watching her play the Memory game that we bought for the car ride to NC. She is just scary good at it! I downloaded a Memory app to my iPhone and again, she is just too good at it!!
Grace is my little lady. She eats very neatly, and sits with her legs crossed. She loves jewelry and is thrilled that her new earrings have (fake) diamonds! She will wear a dress any day over pants or shorts. She loves her charm bracelet and wears it all the time!
I know every parent thinks this, but in this case it's true...My Grace is the smartest little girl I know!!! ;)

Mountains!

All of the kids eating ice cream Madeline and Leah playing in the woods at the cabin

Everyone playing in the dirt happily before a 6ft snake scared us off!

Matt and his Grandma!

Mini-Update

We are nearing our 6 month mark of having our house on the market and to say that we're frustrated and disappointed is beyond an understatement. To say that we hate it here doesn't begin to describe how we feel about this house. I guess it's not so much the house as it is the location of the house that bothers us like we've said so many times before. I had a friend come over to pick up a crib on the weekend and I was mortified to have them come to the house. Needless to say, we need to move. We've had 2 different buyers look at the house twice and then not put in an offer. I don't understand. We paid to have the house appraised so we know exactly what the house is worth, I'm praying that it's just the economy and hopefully things will turn around soon. I'm trying to just Let Go, Let God. It's just hard. Maybe switching Realtors will help things along...

On another topic, we're heading to the mountains this weekend and we all cannot wait! It's supposed to be beautiful weather all weekend, low humidity and temps at or below 80!

Grace got her packet in the mail for Pre-K a few weeks ago. I can't believe that she's going to be starting school. In 4 months she's going to be 5! And the twins are going to turn 2!! I'm starting to feel more and more like an old lady! We're taking Grace and Evan to Dutch Wonderland in August while my Mom watches the twins. I'm so excited to have a day to spend with just Grace and Evan, they're going to have a blast!

Vacation!

Taking a "swim" in the tub after a long day on the beach The best picture of Maddie and Leah that I could get, Maddie is on the right.

My girls building sand castles together

We left around 3am for the 8-1/2 hour drive home and I'm now suffering from a major vacation hangover! I have so much to tell about our trip but am just too tired, so for now all you get is 3 pictures! ;)

One More

There's only one more day left in June. It's been one hell of a month. And I don't necessarily mean that in a negative way. I've discovered so many things thing month. I've missed Matt more this month than I have in a long time. He was home every night but was so wiped out from working that we barely spoke. He would come home around 6:15pm and visit with the kids until bedtime at 7pm. After they were in bed he would snooze in the chair until it was time to eat dinner. After dinner he would shower and go to bed, there was literally not a night where he wasn't asleep before his head even hit the pillow. And then he would get up at 3am and do it all over again. When he comes home from night shift on Friday morning, he will have worked 29 out of the last 31 days. He has off Friday, Saturday and Sunday of this weekend, then works 4 days shifts next week - then it's vacation!!

The kids and I have stayed pretty busy this past month with small trips here and there, playing outside, trying out new playgrounds and doing crafts. Grace just got her ears pierced yesterday. I couldn't believe that she actually did it.
This month I've discovered just how independent I can be. There was only one thing that I opted out of because Matt wasn't going to be there to help me, and that was going to the pool. It's just not safe to have 4 little ones running around water and only 1 adult. I'm currently entertaining the idea of going to the beach a week early with just the kids and having Matt meet us down there on the 9th.
I've also discovered this month just how much patience I have. Whenever things were starting to get to me, I just dug a little deeper. For example, I took Grace and Evan to see Toy Story 3 and they had popcorn and red juice in the theater...on our way home Evan threw up everywhere, which triggered Grace to throw up everywhere because she has a weak stomach. There was red throw up everywhere in a car that wasn't even 24 hours old yet. But I remained calm, only getting out of the car and saying very loud to no one in particular, "Are you kidding me?!!!" on my way over to the passengers side of the car. After over an hour of cleaning up throw up, consoling Evan and Grace, and trying to keep Madeline and Leah from turning inside out from sitting in their car seats in a car that smelled of throw up - we were all buckled and going down the road. It was only then that I started to have a mini breakdown.

Bucket

Forget the pool and the water table, all Leah needs is a bucket full of water!

In a Nut Shell

Opinions~the twins have found theirs.

Big girl bed~Not going well.

Story Time today~ Awful.

Vacation Planning~House rented, the stuff accumulation is beginning.

Car Fiasco~no decision made.

Matt Working~ Um, Yes.

Hair Appointment~Need to make it before I look like Don King.

Clean House~ HA!

Sanity~Lost it long ago.

That's it in a nut shell.

Kid Quiz

What’s your favorite book/story?
Grace: Cinderella story
Evan: Anything about Trains

What do you want to do when you grow up?
Grace: Doctor, and after that I want to be a nurse
Evan: Fireman

What is your favorite game?
Grace: Zingo and Tag
Evan: Anything trains


What’s your favorite food?
Grace: Grilled Cheese
Evan: PB&J

What do you wish for?
Grace: "I wish for more jewelry"
Evan: "I wish I had Gordon and James" (From Thomas the Tank Engine)

What's your favorite juice?
Grace: "Lemonade like PopPop's"
Evan: "My favorite is Poopy"

Snip-Its

I've seen enough bodily fluids to last me a long time.

I've been thrown up ON and didn't throw up in return. Yay me!

Laundry has been my life over the last 4 days, well that and cleaning up bodily fluids, spilled juice, used tissues, and other assorted nastiness.

We have had no showings in over 2 weeks. I'm beginning to lose hope.

I cannot wait until July. It's day 9 of Matt's turn around and I'm losing it.

I'm not so sure that I've ever seen my house quite this dirty.

Evan has been sleeping on his floor every night for the past week.

I need to buy two twin beds for Madeline and Leah. They are getting closer and closer to climbing out/falling out of their cribs. Lord help me when I have 4 children free to roam the house at night.

I'm going to attempt to mow the grass today. I've never mowed grass using a push mower, only a ride on.

I need to go to the greenhouse again because several of my plants are dead.

Evan's curtain rod fell out of the wall last night. I think the swinging Tarzan leap off of his bed while hanging on the curtain may have had something to do with it.

I am stalling my writing this because I have no desire to drag 4 kids to Walmart.

Sick

Evan, Madeline and Leah are all sick. Fevers, vomiting, sore throats, stuffy noses - they have it all. I hate to see them uncomfortable, it breaks my heart to not be able to make it all magically better. Every time that the kids get fevers I cannot keep myself from thinking about this little boy Matteo, he died one year ago and they will never find out why. He did have a fever in the days leading up to his death. That's what scares me so much. I try not to think about it and over react but I can't help but have it creep back in my head through the night. You can read his story here, but be prepared to cry. http://martinomadness.blogspot.com/2009/07/very-heavy-hearts.html

I guess she was hungry

I was making dinner tonight and turned around to the sound of Grace gagging. Madeline had pooped. She had also decided that she would put her hand down into her diaper and smear it on her belly, arms and face, as well as eat some for good measure. Lovely.

Carter's Outlet

I went to the Carter's Outlet yesterday armed with 3 coupons that could all be used together.

At Checkout:

Total: $188.99 without coupons

I ended up paying only $64.33! I was so excited that I got 24 items for $64.33!!!

Figures

I ordered a ton of clothes for myself (gasp!) and they came today. I ordered a lot knowing that I would send back half of the them for one reason or another. Doesn't it figure that I love everything and know have to choose what goes back!?!! The one thing I haven't purchased yet this year is a bathing suit. I'm dreading it. We have just decided that we're going to the beach for a week in July so I guess I better order one soon. My biggest issue with clothes in general is I'm never sure what is appropriate for me. Is it too young? Too old? Am I too fat? Does it flatter my post 50+ inch twin belly?
I also went to the Carter's Outlet today and my total came to $188.98 before coupons, I only ended up paying $64!! Can you believe that?! I'm so proud of myself!
Can you tell that Matt is working a lot? I will be blogging a lot just to attempt to keep myself somewhat sane, I apologize for the pointless blogs but it's hard being alone with 4 kids under 5 all day and never speaking to any adults.

Water Table

I guess they got tired of standing at the water table.

If You Misplace a Child...

Just follow her sister - It's a dead giveaway... I see you!

Not according to plan

Nothing ever goes according to plan when you have 4 small children. I have learned to accept it. This weekend has been one such example...
On Friday I cleaned and tried to get as much house work done as I could so that we could just do fun things on the last two days that Matt has off until July. Actually, that's not true now, OSHA passed a new law that states that you cannot work more than 14 days in a row without a day off so I think Matt has June 13th off. It's not a lot, but at least it's something! Saturday was Grace's big recital! My parents, Matt's parents, and my Grandparents all came and Grace did wonderfully! She was beyond cute and loved every minute of performing in front of an entire college auditorium of people. I am so proud of her and love seeing just how proud she is of herself! I am glad that I don't have to drive her to ballet every Tuesday afternoon now but I'm also sad because I'm going to miss some of the other Mom's, especially Donna and Dawn. I hope we end up getting together over the summer like we said. We were supposed to leave the recital and go to our best friend's House Warming/Son's 2nd birthday but we never made it. I wanted to at least pop in and say hello but it just wasn't in the cards.
Today I was going to go cruise around in the Jeep with the top off but it didn't end up working out that way. Matt and my Dad ended up working on it for the majority of the day and I played with the kids in my parents yard. I was hoping to get a little alone time to mentally prepare myself for all of the quality alone time that I'm going to be spending with the kids this coming month but that just didn't go according to plan either.
Our house situation isn't going according to our plan either. Hopefully things will turn around soon. I just read an article in the Sunday paper about how real estate sales are increasing in this area so that gives me some hope.
Nothing seems to be going according to our plan, I just need to believe that it's all part of His plan.

Friendship

I've seen a lot of Facebook posts and magazine articles that talk about friendship, what is a true friend? How can you tell when you have a true friend? My thoughts on friendship are that if you have to sit and question if someone is a true friend or not - then they aren't. My true friends are people that I trust to watch my kids, to tell secrets to without reservation, that I would literally drop everything for and not think twice about it. They're people that I can talk to and truly be myself around without fear of judgement. And it never matters if their life or mine is too busy to get together - it doesn't matter how much time has passed in between visits - we still pick right up like we just saw each other yesterday.

Stinky Feet!

Madeline and Leah are too cute and sweet to have such smelly feet!!! I have resorted to soaking/washing their Keens in the same concoction that I use to get the smell out of their cloth diapers...I hope it works!

New Hair

Please excuse the awful self portrait but I was in a hurry! I cut off all of my hair today, probably a good 8 inches or more. I just really didn't like how I felt when I constantly put my hair up in a wet pony tail. I felt like an ugly unkempt stay-at-home-Mom...Well most of that is true but hopefully my hair will be stylish enough for me to look at least a little bit put together.

Busy

We went to the beach for the day on Sunday and had a great time! The kids all loved the sand and being able to dip their toes in the ocean. Madeline and Leah both ended up falling in the water and loving every minute of it! We ate at Grotto's Pizza and bought some candy for the kids. The trip really made me want to rent a house in NC in July but it's just so expensive.

We were planning on going to the Aquarium today but the attitudes the kids had this morning told us that it wouldn't be a good idea. And boy were we right! Today was awful!! I have never heard so much whining and tantrum throwing in all of my life. Thank goodness that it's bed time and all of the kids are sleeping. I am enjoying the quiet like never before!

I am still obsessing about my hair. No matter what I always end up with my hair in a ponytail. I have a hair appointment on Wednesday morning and am still so scared to cut it all off simply because I know how awful the growing out process is. It's taken me 18 months to get my hair to the length that it is now. I just want to go to a really good stylist and have them tell me what would look the best on me but I don't know who to go to. I also don't want to spend a small fortune on my hair. I just need to make up my mind!!

Catch Up

We are still trying to sell our house and I'm tired of it. We just had another showing yesterday but haven't heard anything yet. We found out that the couple that looked at our house twice ended up buying one a few streets over, huge bummer. I hate having so much time to think about what we want in another house. I over analyze everything anyway but it's getting a little ridiculous. We want to find a house we love and take our time finding it but we're in constant limbo waiting for a buyer to come along.

Grace has her ballet recital on the 29th and I'm excited to see her perform however I'm nervous that she's going to get scared and not do it. I'm sure she wouldn't be the first.

Matt starts his next week off on Friday and I can't wait! I'm trying to keep the turn around that's looming out of my head but it's already starting to get me down. It's just so hard to keep up with being alone with the kids for a month straight. Matt is worthless when he gets home at night, and rightfully so after working a 12 hour day and adding over an hour commute each way. It feels so isolating sometimes.

We were planning on going to the mountains this weekend for a few days but now Matt is changing his mind. I'm not sure why.

Madeline and Leah are starting to talk more. They don't do it very often but when they do the words are very clear. I think that they don't talk because someone is always talking for them, usually Grace. I'm trying not to worry about it and just give them some time. I've heard that twins in general usually talk later than singletons.

I almost deleted my Facebook after some "stupid" drama that went on but decided that I like staying in touch with some select people so for the time being I'll just leave it. I hate drama. I don't need it. I have enough drama from 4 little people to last me a lifetime. Did I mention that I hate drama? I really think the whole thing is beyond stupid and should just be let go and for everyone to move on but I guess only time will tell.

I cannot get my camera to upload pictures to my computer ever since I installed some new antivirus software. I am trying to reinstall the program but it's just not working. I guess I need to find a computer savvy person to help me since I'm totally lacking in that department.

Evan is almost as tall as Grace, I think by this time next year he will be taller than she is. I cannot believe how big he has gotten. (He's grown quite the attitude also.) This too shall pass.

I have a hair appointment scheduled for the 19th and am STILL not sure what to do with my hair. I hate it the way it is but am too scared to cut it super short, and there is no in between since at least I can put it in a ponytail right now. It either has to be super short, or long.

My best friend's son is turning 2 at the end of May and I have no clue what to get him. You would think that I would be good at finding gifts for kids but since all kids are SO different I never know what to buy. I think everyone should create an Amazon Wish List to make things SO much easier! I have one and update it whenever the kids really want something or I think of a good gift so it's much easier when a birthday or holiday comes up I can just tell people to look at the list for some ideas. They don't have to buy from it but at least they will know what kinds of things the kids want.

Oh and I cannot forget Mother's Day, I got diamond earrings!! I was shocked. Truly. And they're exactly what I wanted. Super small diamond hoop earrings that hug my ear so hopefully they won't get ripped out! And Matt changed every single diaper on Mother's Day! It was glorious!! ;)

Ice Cream Cuties!

Leah, Grace, Evan and Madeline eating ice cream outside during a break from swimming!

Down the pooper and Back out again.

Today seemed to go right down pooper. From fighting children, to cranky teething toddlers, to getting a hospital bill from 17 months ago for $3,336.20, to not being able to find a hotel at the beach that will accommodate my gaggle of kids for a reasonable price, to having Madeline run into the neighbors yard in bare feet and step in a huge pile of dog poo - again, to not getting an offer from the people who came to see the house TWICE....I just feel like I'm suffocating under a mounting pile of poo sometimes. There - bitching complete.

Now, the up-side to my day...4 smiling, laughing cuties playing outside in the glorious sunshine (despite the dog poo incident), A new magazine for me in the mail!, fitting in to shorts that I wore the summer after I had Grace ~ so 3 kids later including a set of twins and back into the same size isn't too shabby, trying on a bikini and being pleased with my shape (not to say that I would ever, ever, ever wear it in public because no amount of exercise will cure the "twin skin" issue).

Looking forward to Matt coming home and all of the kiddos going to bed! ;)

Big Time

How do you go about making a big, huge, important decision? Matt and I have a decision to make and we're both still riding down the middle on it. There are definite pros and cons and risks galore on both sides...the worst part is that there is a time limit on the decision...we have to make it by the end of the day today...

Hilly

I've been having a rough couple of weeks. Things have been so up and down, more so than usual. I've been thinking a lot about how I got to where I am in my life. How did I end up marrying one of my best friends from high school? How did we end up working together and now having him work over an hour away in another state? How did we decide to buy this house? How did we know that this is what we needed to make it through to where we are now? How did I get 4 amazing, healthy kids? How did I get to be so independent? 6 years ago, I could never do the things that I do now. I am so much more sure of myself. I can be a better wife and mother. I am able to be a better friend, and realize that I have true friends who I can trust and love like family. I'm really starting to see that it's all part of God's plan. I feel myself being pulled to church and building a stronger relationship with God. The only thing stopping me is the fear of stepping foot into a new church and getting all of the kids comfortable in the 'nursery'. Matt is only off 2 Sunday's a month so half of the time it would just be the kids and I. I know that after the first time things will be much easier but that first time just still scares me!

Not Me Monday!

There is no way that I just heard a Grandmother screaming in the face of a child who cannot be older than 2...I definitely would not have heard her say, "You are a f*cking pain in my as*, I'll get you a f*cking drink as soon as I f*cking feel like it. You just need to get the f*ck out of my face you little sh*t." I wouldn't have gotten a horrible sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and had to use all the restraint that I had to not go over to her and scream at her, or pick up that little girl and take her home with me and call the police.

Grace wouldn't have had an hour long tantrum tonight about nothing and then turn it off like a switch. That would never happen to me.

We wouldn't have had an open house on Sunday and had not one person show up except our nosey neighbors.

Explode

I'm ready to explode. I can't take much more without a break. A real break. A whole day and or night without kids. And a whole day or night with just my husband. I know how hard it is to juggle 4 kids. I know how stressful it is. I hate, hate, hate to ask for help. I hate to ask someone else to take on the stress but I've reached and exceeded my breaking point. I deserve a break. Matt deserves a break. We deserve some time together to just be us. To enjoy each other. To talk without a child interrupting. To eat a meal without cutting up someone else's food. To lay around and watch a movie. To just be Matt and Lindsay, not Mommy and Daddy.

Self-Portrait

I was reading another "Mommy blog" and they were doing a 'self-portrait' challenge so here's mine. I took this about 2 nights ago. Everyone was doing self portraits because 99% of the time Mom's aren't in pictures because we're the ones taking them! Of course I took the picture at 9pm after a long day, am totally exhausted and with no makeup...a lot of the other Mom's got all done up...not me! ;)

Happy Birthday Matt!

Happy 30th birthday Matt!

Strange

There was a strange occurence in this house this morning, everyone slept until 7:30am. You might think that it's not a big deal but the kids get up between 5:30am and 6am every morning like clockwork. Matt and I didn't end up climbing out of bed until almost 8am! It was glorious!

Matt is going to finish the replacement deck today. It already looks better. We are going to look at 4 houses tomorrow and I'm excited but anxious too. We know what we want, we just need to find it and for the right price!

Our House

Here are some of the pictures from the listing for the house. I didn't notice the blue ball under the dining room table until the listing was already posted. And now the wait begins for someone to at least want to come and look at the house...

We got to check out our listing for the house and it's a little surreal. I'm waiting for pictures to go up on Realtor.com and for the listing to be shown on Zillow.com.

Listed

We listed the house today. There's a big For Sale sign out front. I'm happy, sad, nervous, and anxious all at the same time. I do have more faith this time around about us finding the house that we're meant to have. Matt and I have questioned the decision to buy this house many times but we've always come back to the fact that we 'needed' this house. It was the right house for us at the time and now we need to find the next one. We're going to check out some houses on Thursday to get our feet wet with what's on the market right now.

I cannot believe how much Madeline and Leah have grown up over the last few weeks. They're really starting to talk - unless of course you want them to say something for someone, then they're mute. They have entered into a very clingy stage and I cannot wait for them to get past it. If I even dare go to the bathroom without them, they are in full blown screaming and crying fits. As soon as I return, they both turn it off like a light switch!

Grace has been difficult this past week. I don't even know what to say. She was fighting us going to sleep last night for 3 hours. Yes, 3 hours. And she was so tired!! I pray that tonight will not be the same fight!

Evan is my little man. He turns 3 in two weeks! He loves his trains, cars, trucks, tools, dirt and Jeeps just like his Daddy! He even got to take a ride in the Jeep with the top off yesterday, and he loved it!

whirlwind

We are meeting with the Realtor again tomorrow to sign the papers to list the house. I'm excited and nervous. I'm nervous about the house not selling and about it selling too quickly! If someone buys the house using the current tax credit, the contract must be signed by April 30th and settlement needs to happen before June 30th. Matt works the entire month of June without a day off for a turn-around at work. How are we supposed to make settlement and move if he's working?! Maybe I should start begging and bribing people now! I guess we will just have to cross that bridge when we get to it. I want to take our time finding the perfect house, but would feel pressure if we sold quickly. On the other hand, I don't want the house to sit on the market for months and months. Ideally I would like to be moved into another house by July. We will just have to wait an see I guess. I really don't want to live in this house for another summer.
Debbi came down on Friday so that Matt and I could go out for our anniversary. We really needed a day out! We went to the Franklin Institute to see the Body Worlds exhibit. We were then supposed to go out to get something to eat but I ended up sick and in bed for the next 12 hours. I'm feeling better now and am thankful that it was just a 24 hour thing but it's going to run through the house I'm sure, as it always does.
Matt worked night shift last night even though he was supposed to be off for 7 days. We could use the extra cash right now though so it's not so bad. I don't want to answer the phone now though until Friday night because we need this time of him being off to finish up the things around the house before we have to show it next week. We're replacing some of the old wood on the back porch, planting some things and mulching the front garden, and am going to try to finish matching the faux paint on the walls up the stairs where the baby gate damaged the wall.

It's Official

It's official, we found a new realtor and we're hoping to have our house listed on the market no later than April 1st! I'm excited but also scared. I'm hoping that with the tax credit expiring on April 30th that we might get a last minute "rush" to get a contract signed so the buyer will still qualify for the tax credit. So for now we are rushing to get everything cleaned and the paint touched up, the outside dressed up as much as possible and to pack up everything that we don't need so the house looks as big and inviting as possible! We have so much to do. We were supposed to have our friends over today but there's no way that we can do anything today except work on the house if we hope to get everything done by the time the realtor comes for pictures.

I have found a house that looks like our dream home, I can't wait to go and see it! I am excited beyond words that we will be able to move into a house with a huge yard and enough room for everyone! I'm thankful to finally be seeing that the sacrifices we've made by living here are going to pay off!

Oh Yea!

HOLY GUACAMOLE - I lost another jeans size! I'm ecstatic! I'm beside myself happy. Maybe I'll start letting people take pictures of me soon...Maybe.



****I'm sorry to be bragging. I just cannot help myself!****

Sharing

It!

I could have written this blog myself! I'm hoping she finds "it" and sends it my way!!

http://welaughuntilwecry.blogspot.com/2010/03/some-people-just-have-it.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+LaughUntilYouCry+%28Laugh+until+you+Cry.%29

Ramblings and Not Me Monday!

Is it really March 1st? I'm so excited for the spring and summer to get here! The kids are going to be so much fun this year. We have a lot of little trips planned, Dutch Wonderland, Sesame Place, a few day trips to the beach, a week in the mountains, and who knows what else! I'm excited for March because we have a lot of little things on our calendar, a baby shower on the 7th, Philadelphia Zoo on Wheels the 10th, CC Mother's of Multiples Spring sale on the 13th, the new library opens on the 16th, Mothers of Multiples club meeting on the 18th, our anniversary on the 19th, Matt's 30th birthday on the 26th...It's going to be a fun month! We're also hoping to go check out a new church on the 14th!



Now on to Not Me Monday!



There's no way that my husband let me take a two hour nap in the afternoon last week. Not Me!



I definitely wouldn't be slightly jealous of a friend that just revealed that she's pregnant - Not me! (Not that I want any more kids, I just miss the excitement and really wasn't ready for my last pregnancy to be the last one. We were leaving the possibility of a 4th child open...little did we know!)



Grace didn't tell my husband that the bathroom was so stinky after he used the facilities that he needed to, "light a match!"



Madeline and Leah haven't taken climbing on things to a whole new level...they wouldn't dream of climbing on the top of the couch, onto the play table, into the toy box, onto kitchen chairs, into the bath, and on to the toilet all by themselves. Not my kids.



I know that I wouldn't have eaten an Oreo Cookie Klondike Bar 3 nights in a row. Not me!



There's definitely no way that I have started to really speak my mind about 'certain' things within my family and have not stopped caring about what people are going to think or say about me. Not Me!




There is no way that last night, in an attempt to have Grace and Evan stay in their beds all night, that I told them if they stayed there that Matt would bring them a donut for breakfast on his way home from night shift.

Responsible or Spoil??

Matt's 30th birthday and our 5 year Anniversary is coming up and I'm trying to decide on a gift...Should I be responsible or should I spoil him? Let me know what you think!

Wordless Wednesday

Grace at the Opthamologist this morning - She did so great!

Truthful Tuesday

Warning: This is going to be a very random post!

Grace had ballet today and I think I enjoy it more than she does. Donna and Dawn are my weekly dose of sanity! We are planning a girls night out and I can't wait!

We went to the mountains this past weekend and had a great time! I loved seeing how good Grandma looks! The kids didn't want to leave Grammie and PopPop ~ they miss them so much!

I'm trying to decide what summer 'camps' to put the kids in and am having trouble with the schedules of them. Hopefully I can find a few different short camps for Grace.

We were going to book a trip to Tennessee bu have decided to wait until next year when Madeline and Leah are a little older.

I have a friend going through some really tough stuff right now and am doing my best to be supportive and listen but I am afraid I'm not doing a very good job. There just isn't much to say or do to help in her situation. Hopefully I'm being a good friend.

Grace has an eye doctor appointment tomorrow and I'm scared. She has been squinting and her right eye has been wandering a little bit even with her glasses on. I'm hoping she just needs a prescription change and nothing more serious than that. Her first pair of glasses, the wire frames, need to be replaced. They are pretty much shot. I guess a 4 year old is pretty hard on glasses!!

As sad and angry as I am to say this, Matt and I have pretty much decided to wait yet another year before we sell our house. It's just not financially smart to move right now. I hate it. I so hate it here. I like the inside of our house just not the location. We were looking for houses and the ones we really want are just slightly out of our reach so we're going to spend another year saving our pennies. :(

I am trying to buy the kids summer clothes as inexpensive as possible. I'm shopping every sale and researching coupons and promotions online in hopes to save money. I already shopped the Old Navy Baby Sale and am going to shop the Gymboree Baby sale now since they have great prices during the sale and I also have a coupon that will take another 20% off my total purchase!

I'll try to post tomorrow after we're done at Grace's eye doctor appointment.

Why...Because it's FUN!

We have 4 kids. A 4 year old. A 2 year old. And two 1 year olds. Our house is sheer chaos. All the time. From the moment the first set of little eyes open, to the moment that our heads hit the pillow at night. We are loud and rowdy. Crazy and silly. Stressed and blessed. We went away overnight this past weekend to the mountains and we had a great time! It's hard, there's no denying that, but wow I love having the kids so close in age! Why?! Because it's FUN!!

Wordless Wednesday

Rub-a-dub-dub

Madeline and Leah enjoying their tub!

Snow!

Madeline eating snow by sticking her face in it.

Leah standing in front of my van.

Grace and Evan walking on the "sidewalk".

Thankfully I took 4 kids outside to play in the snow, and brought all 4 back in with me. I was afraid one of them would get lost in a snow drift! ;) I think by the time the snow stops we will have about 24". Right now we have 22". I'm praying that Matt comes home tonight and that his company doesn't make him stay in a hotel close to work again. It stinks being snowed in without him! The kids and I are having fun though!

"Proud of Me" Monday

I always seem to use my blog as a place to vent and ask for advice so today I thought that I'd change it up a little bit and start a little list about things I'm proud to say about myself and what I've accomplished over the last 5 years.

(In no order what so ever)

I'm proud of:



Giving birth vaginally to 4 beautiful and healthy kids.



Giving birth to 2 children within an hour!



Managing a crazy household filled with lots of love!



Married my best friend (for those of you who are trying to do the math - Grace was our honeymoon baby!!)



Being able to stay home with the kids, even though they drive me crazy some days!



Always having what we need.



Learning about what's important in life.



I'm proud to say that I've found real, true friends in the last 5 years. I don't know what I'd do without them!


I've gained a second family.

I've never missed one day taking a shower because of the kids. It may have only been washing the necessary parts but I still managed to fit one in.

I've learned how to budget our money and stick to it!

I've decided once and for all to grow my hair out and have made it to ponytail length. My hair hasn't been this long since Middle School!

It's not a big list, but it's a start! It feels good to write a positive post for once!

Oh, shit.

I yelled today. A lot.

I feel awful about it. I'm beyond stressed and am taking it out on the kids. I had such a horrible day. I'm hoping that after the kids are in bed that I can curl up and cry away some of the stress. The only way that I'm making it through the day is that I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better. It has to be.

Between the selling/buying a house thing, Matt on nights plus working overtime making him only home for a day and a half over a ten day span, on top of the normal everyday stresses - It's taking it's toll.

I'm so tired of having to repeat myself 1000 times before someone responds to me or even acknowledges that I exist. The fighting, oh the fighting - that's a whole other blog entirely. The attitudes were things I seriously never thought would happen to kids until at least the age of 10. Wow, I was w-r-o-n-g. Madeline and Leah have even started to join in screaming when they don't get their way or a toy is taken from them.
I'm tired of doing something just to have it undone not even a minute later. (I know, that's what kids do but it still gets old.
I'm sick over fighting about meals. Just eat or don't eat.
I must repeat this saying a million times every day...

You get what you get and you don't get upset.

Maybe I just have to keep telling myself that.

Now what?

We thought we had it all figured out. And now we don't. We're back to square one with selling our house. We're struggling with really, really wanting to move since we pretty much hate the location of our house and all of the people around us. They're just all 'trash' with very few exceptions. We can get approved for a mortgage so that's not the problem...the problem is this ~ When we look at houses we like versus houses we love, we find that the houses we love are slightly over what we want to spend right now. It would make us literally house poor. So do we wait another year (GROAN) so we have more of a down payment to get the house we love but risk the interest rates going up and the price of homes going up to the point where we're not really getting anything more than we can comfortably purchase right now? We never want to move again after we leave this house. So what we purchase will be our forever house (hopefully). I'm just so confused. I don't want to rush into anything and make a mistake and I'm trying to not let my hatred for this house sway my judgement. So what to do....That is the question.

Hair-Don't

I don't know what to do with Madeline and Leah's hair. It all comes forward from way back on their head and constantly looks pretty terrible. I can put pigtails in but they tend to just stick straight up and look rather silly. Anyone have any suggestions?

Eskimo Kisses

Grace and Madeline giving "Eskimo Kisses" after dinner tonight! Trying to fit on the same little chair!

Leah giving Grace smooches!