Sunday, December 4, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
The time has come and this is our last night in this house. I'm relieved, excited, scared, and angry all at the same time. I'm relieved that this chapter of our life is over. We have hated living here for so long that the thought of not coming back here brings me such relief! We are excited about finding a house we will love coming home to and that will have the room, inside and out, that we need! I'm scared and angry because we don't have a house under contract yet and I thought it would be easier than it has been. We've bid on 3 houses and have had something go wrong on each. I'm not looking forward to staying with my parents for a few weeks while we figure out what to do, find a house to buy or rent something until "our" house comes along. I know my parents aren't looking forward to it either but have been gracious enough to let us stay there for a bit.
I have to say that I'm pretty proud of myself, I've literally packed the entire house by myself! Matt has been on a shut down and has been on night shift this entire month except for the 14th so things have been wicked tough in the Brown house lately. He's been getting up early to go to see a few houses with me, the other times my Dad has gone with me for a second set of eyes. Mom has watched the kids on a few occasions while we did that or while we made trips to the storage unit with Dad's trailer. I couldn't have done this without them! I'm so proud of Matt too! He has been away from his family for about 16 hours a day for the whole month and has been pulled in 1,000 different directions and hasn't complained too much! This is his first shut down where he was a boss and the stress of that was different for him but he is doing amazing!
We go to settlement on Friday morning and we didn't want to go so we tried to sign the papers early with a notary but something messed things up and we have to go Friday. I didn't want to go because it's uncomfortable to be selling a house we hate to someone we went to high school with. I graduated with the husband and his wife was a grade or two behind us so it's just really strange.
I don't think there has been another time in my life where I've felt as out of control as I do now. Everything is chaotic and I've been screwing up some major things that I normally wouldn't. I'm averaging 4 hours of sleep a night, have had the house a mess with no time to organize important papers. I can't focus on anything. I'm so scattered it's crazy. I hope I get my act together more after Friday when this chapter is closed and I can just concentrate on the kids and finding them a new house. I get so upset when I think about how often they've wanted to go outside to play and I wouldn't let them because of the "activities" and people that were around. We would have to go to the park or my parents for them to really play. I cannot wait to give them a big back yard to run crazy in and a place for them to ride their bikes and just be kids.
I apologize that this post has been so all over the place but as I said, I can't focus on anything!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Our Inspection, Termite and Radon reports came in today and they were even better than we expected! We have to install a new hot water heater which we already knew, and do 3 other tiny things and then we're ready to roll! Our last hurdle to get over before settlement is the appraisal which I'm hoping is going to be done next week. I can't take the not knowing anymore!
We have been seriously house shopping and are really thinking that we will NOT be moving to NJ. We cannot find anything we like in a house but worse than that we can't find an area we would want to live in. We're just 'country folk' I guess and in NJ there isn't much of that in our price range. We have fallen in love with a house in PA but aren't done shopping just yet. We are hoping to put an offer in on something as soon as we get the appraisal results.
I'm stressed beyond belief, exhausted from not sleeping, walking around in a fog because my mind is going 1,000 miles a minute, and just beyond excited, happy and relieved!!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
We got an offer on our house and are going to close Sept 23 if everything goes well! We are cautiously excited. The inspections and appraisal will be done on Monday the 8th and we hope to have all of the results by Friday the 12th. I'm beyond nervous that something will go wrong with the inspections or appraisal and the deal will fall through. I'm nervous about the radon testing for some reason. We had ok results 5 years ago so we should be fine but I'm so scared that the results are going to be dangerously high and we didn't know it and it hurt the kids or something. I know I worry too much. The appraisal is going to be a huge hurdle as well as making sure the knob and tube wiring in two rooms doesn't pose a problem. It shouldn't because the buyer knows about it now since it's in the sellers disclosure. After the inspections are complete and the buyer ok's everything or we come to terms with changes they want made, we will start looking for a new house. I don't want to start too soon be because I don't want to fall in love with a house and then have something go wrong with selling this house. Everything just seems so surreal.
Last week we sold Matt's truck. He loved his truck but we decided that we needed to get rid of it since the house wasn't selling and we couldn't afford the gas in it anymore. Last weekend I buried a Saint Joseph statue upside down, facing our house next to the for sale sign and said a prayer to Saint Joseph to help us sell our house and move on. I had never heard of this before and if you haven't either, google it so you know I'm not completely crazy. But my friend Rebecca, who I owe big time for telling me about it, suggested we get one. Low and behold, we got two showings on Monday and a signed contract on Wednesday. I also can't help but think that MomMom had something to do with it. MomMom always told me to "not take her babies away" and move away from her since she just adored seeing them all of the time. And now that she has passed, she helped us sell since she's now with us wherever we go.
I better try to get some sleep.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Matt's Grandmother went into the arms of Jesus tonight at 9:05pm. We will miss her terribly. I will miss seeing her all of the time when the kids and I go for walks. We would stop and see her several times a week when the weather was nice. We would see her not as often in the winter but still stopped over for short visits. I am so sad to think of telling the kids in the morning. The kids kept drawing her pictures and wanting to go and see her to make her feel better.
Please pray for Matt's family.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Matt's Grandmother is one strong lady! She's trying to keep her promise to Rob that she'll still be here when he comes back on Saturday afternoon. I pray that she can do it, but like I said, She's a strong woman so if anyone could, it'd be her!
Another member of Matt's family, Whose nickname is Brownie, passed away last night around 10:30pm. He fought a hard battle with cancer. I remember Brownie from when we both worked at W&J, he was so vibrant and always poking fun at people and making them laugh when he would come into the office around lunch.
I'm trying to help with everything going on as much as I can but I don't want the kids to see MomMom like she is so I can only help if Matt is at home. I've made food to take down and am going to make more to try and make sure that Debbi is eating and taking care of herself while she's caring for MomMom. Talk about a strong woman, Debbi is amazing and is doing everything she can with such grace. I so wish that there was more that I could do to help. My heart just aches for everyone, I'm trying to put my own feelings aside, but that's a whole other post.
Keep praying for peace, comfort and strength for everyone.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for tee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
his is seriously going to get personal, you ready? sure
If you were caught cheating, would you fess up? I would never cheat
The last time you felt honestly broken? within the last month
Are you craving something? yes, soda!!! But I've given it up!!!
If you could have one thing right now what would it be? I would have my husband off for the weekend
Would you rather have ten kids, or none? hahahaha I guess 10 because I couldn't imagine life without my kiddos!
What do you hear right now? the microwave, the washer, the kids, and the heater just kicked on
Is your bed against more than one of your walls? nope
What’s on your mind right now? TOO much to list!
Are you there for your friends? I **TRY** so hard to be
Last person to see you cry? Matt
What do you do when you get nervous? fidget
How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? 24
Does anyone completely understand you? hard question, yes and no...
Do you have a reason to smile right now? ABSOLUTELY!
Has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you? yes
Would you be happier if life had a rewind button? no
Do you tell your mum or dad everything? LOL nope
How many hours of sleep do you get a night? between 2 and 6
Are you easy to get along with? haha, depends
Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? No
What was the last drink that you put in your mouth? Ice water
What size bed do you have? King
Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in? Before
Do you like the rain? rain showers in the summer, yes. Any other time, no.
Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? yes
Who were you last in the car with, besides family? Rebecca
Have you ever been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you? yes
Do you regret a past relationship? No,I learned something for all of them
Do you care too much about your appearance? nope
Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? yes, workout gear from the Under Armour Outlet
Do you miss anyone? yes
What are you doing tomorrow? grocery shopping, cleaning, running, getting ready for the week.
Is there anyone you want to come see you? yes
Have you ever been cheated on? yes
Do you have siblings? yes, one sister.
Have you ever fallen asleep on someone?yes
How has the past week been for you? emotional
What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping
What is your current mood? stressed and ready for Matt to get up so I can go for a run
Who was the first person you talked to today? Grace
Will this week be a good one? Sure hope so!
Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? yes
Who were you with last night? The kids until 7pm at bedtime, and then I was alone since Matt was working
Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? I texted Matt Goodnight
Next time you will kiss someone? soon
Friday, February 25, 2011
What woke you up this morning? Evan
Where are you? In my bedroom
Is tomorrow going to be a good day? Absolutely! Have to think positive!
Do you like anybody? I like a lot of people
Ever thrown up in public? Um, yes.
Passed out because of alcohol? Nope.
What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW? Too much to list.
What kind of home would you like? At this point any home but this one. HATE IT!
What do you want to be when you grow up? A Mom whose kids don't need to go to therapy.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? In a new house with a 10 year old, a 9 year old, and two 7 year olds. SCARY!
Do you like candy necklaces? No
Do you listen to music every day? Yes
What was the last thing you ate? Chicken and brown rice, flavored with balsamic vinegar
Are you a fast typer? Yes, and it drives my hubby nuts to hear my nails on the keys! :)
Whats your favorite type of soda? Coke, but I don't drink soda anymore
Have you ever moved? Yuppers
Have you ever won an award? Yes
Are you listening to music right now? No
How long ’till your birthday? 4 and a half months until I'm THIRTY! Holy crap.
What time is it? 8pm
What do you do when you’re mad? Walk away!
What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? Punched a hole in a door. (VERY long time ago)
When was the last time you actually cried? This morning.
Do certain songs make you cry? Absolutely
What makes you the happiest? My family of course! I couldn't live without my 5 loves!
Do you believe in yourself? I have my moments where I doubt myself, but for the most part yes
Friday, February 11, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
It truly feels like just yesterday I was waddling around with a belly bigger than I ever thought I would have. And now I have two walking, talking, giggling, sometimes fighting 26 month old beautiful girls!!! I do miss feeling them in my belly. 4 arms and 4 legs constantly moving and squirming was an amazing, sometimes painful, feeling! And the hiccups were unforgettable when they both had them at the same time! Sometimes I still can't believe that Matt and I were lucky enough to be blessed with twins!