Hilly

I've been having a rough couple of weeks. Things have been so up and down, more so than usual. I've been thinking a lot about how I got to where I am in my life. How did I end up marrying one of my best friends from high school? How did we end up working together and now having him work over an hour away in another state? How did we decide to buy this house? How did we know that this is what we needed to make it through to where we are now? How did I get 4 amazing, healthy kids? How did I get to be so independent? 6 years ago, I could never do the things that I do now. I am so much more sure of myself. I can be a better wife and mother. I am able to be a better friend, and realize that I have true friends who I can trust and love like family. I'm really starting to see that it's all part of God's plan. I feel myself being pulled to church and building a stronger relationship with God. The only thing stopping me is the fear of stepping foot into a new church and getting all of the kids comfortable in the 'nursery'. Matt is only off 2 Sunday's a month so half of the time it would just be the kids and I. I know that after the first time things will be much easier but that first time just still scares me!