I'm slightly more emotionally stable now than I was last night. I know that things could be worse, Matt could have no job or a job that didn't pay well enough for me to be at home with the kids. I know that. I appreciate his job. I really do. I am grateful for how much HE sacrifices for us as a family. I really think most of this boils down to sleep. Or lack there of. If I had more sleep things would seem a lot sunnier. The girls were sleeping fairly well to the point that I didn't feel like a zombie but they're shifting again to sleeping for an hour here and an hour there. I think it's because they're in my room still. They're old enough now to be woken up by me/us moving, snoring or just making little noises. The new room is moving along finally but not fast enough. If I hadn't been on bed rest for all of those weeks it would be done by now but we do have 2 healthy babies and that's what counts. I know his brother works for the same company and his unit shuts down for a turn around soon after Matt's turn around -- and Chris' is supposed to be something like 50 days. That sucks. Bad. I feel bad for Hannah because Chris will be exhausted and if he's on nights then she will never see him since she works during the day. So in that regard I do feel somewhat lucky.
Like I said in the beginning of this post, I feel like sleep is the magic answer to 'some' of my issues! And I thought I was sleep deprived at times in college - not even close.
I went shopping with the kids this morning and came back exhausted. I went to Old Navy and actually went into a dressing room and tried clothes on. It wasn't pretty but I figured that the one pair of pants I have just aren't cutting it anymore. I ended up with jeans for $19, a cardigan and a cami. Matt said that it looks cute on me...but it's his job to say that. I've lost another 6 lbs but still have a way to go - twenty something pounds left.
I've stumbled across some other Mom blogs that have twins and an older child/children and they've really been helping me hold on to my sanity. One that I have been reading, http://3underthree.blogspot.com/ has so much in it that echoes my life very closely. Granted Heather has one less child than I do but she very much goes through the same things as I do since her daughter is close in age to her twins. I really feel like no one I know can begin to identify with my life. Just the sheer shock of going from two kids to four is enough to make any one's head spin. I want to try to get together IRL with some other Mom's of twins plus an older child but the Mother's of Multiples organizations around me don't meet when I'm able to attend. They usually meet at 7pm, the kids bedtime and Matt isn't around usually to watch them while I go alone.
This blog post will have to be finished later - Maddie just had a blow out in her brand spankin' new outfit. It's white. Poop is brown/green/yellowish. Not good people, not good.