As I pushed the double stroller, walked with a baby strapped to my chest and repeatedly lifted Grace and Evan to see animals yesterday at the zoo nothing was more painful than seeing myself in the pictures from yesterday. I 'will' defend myself that the black sweater I was wearing added 10 pounds to me and I have since thrown it in the trash, however...I am still BIG. I spent all of last night depressed and feel even worse this morning. Yes, even with 4 little ones to chase, lift and play with - I can't seem to lose this weight. Matt and I just got our tax return and I think we might take a portion of it and buy an elliptical machine. We need it. We need to be healthier. I need to feel better about myself. I cannot be a cow in a bathing suit at the beach. There is no food that can taste as good as skinny would feel to me.
My goal is to lose 15 pounds by July 11th. It's about a pound a week. Realistic, right? Wish me luck! July 11th is when Matt's cousin Mike gets married. I want to look good in a dress since this most likely will be the first time Matt and I will get out on a date without the kids since the twins were born --- And yes, the twins will be 8 months old at that point.